ALLAN THE MAN

The success of Gilas Pilipinas also opened the door for me to imagine other versions of the team with a clear conscience during my next flight, the 14-hour jaunt from Seoul to New York. 

That’s because we know what the “right” version of the national team was — it was the group that qualified for a FIBA World Cup for the first time since 1978 and had the nation crying tears of joy. So instead, I could entertain myself by imagining strange, themed versions of the Philippine team. Hey, it was either that or watch Sylvester Stallone’s “Bullet to the Head” seven consecutive times.

Also, these imaginary national teams shouldn’t be considered Gilas replacements because they’d all be far less competitive in international basketball than the real squad. This exercise isn’t about assembling the best team, it’s about imagining fun lineups.

Gilas did the hard work and brought a measure of redemption to the Philippines’ once-revered status in Asian basketball. That frees us up to goof around and imagine what would happen if the country sent some of the PBA’s most colorful characters and unique talents to compete in FIBA Asia events. Let’s do this.

PART 1: ANGAS PILIPINAS

The cocky badasses who-trash talk their opponents and carry themselves like princes on the court, but have the skill and toughness and the mean streak they need to get away with it.

PG — Paul Lee, Rain or Shine: One of the guy’s nicknames is “Angas ng Tondo,” for goodness’ sake. There’s no way he’s not making this team. He can embarrass defenders with crossovers, hesitations, and changes of direction; he can lean on them with that borderline brutish frame and punish them physically; and he sees the floor so well that he can even make his teammates’ defenders look bad with a no-look bullet pass. Even his smile has a snarky edge.

SG — Mark Caguioa, Barangay Ginebra: Could it be anyone else? Even if Caguioa is at the stage of his career where he’s more likely to pull up for a jump shot than slash fearlessly to the basket, everything he does on a basketball court accompanied by a brazen, puckish air. He could bounce pass the ball with attitude, and besides, who wouldn’t want to see what hairstyle Caguioa unveils for the international stage. Can somebody say Skrillex?

SF — Arwind Santos, Petron: OK, I know that Santos is somewhat infamous for possessing the kind of confidence that best manifests itself in pink t-shirts and matching hats. And there have been questions throughout his career about his leadership qualities, especially since he’s a primary bida in the never-ending Petronovela saga. But we’ve seen how playing for flag and country inspires players to perform their best, and with his combination of length, athleticism, defense, and scoring, along with his skills of color-coordination, Arwind is one of the most unconventional and singular talents in the region.

PF — Harvey Carey, Talk ‘N Text: Some might say that Carey’s game is too much hustle and not enough flow to be a full-fledged Angas Pilipinas starter. But even though he’s a workmanlike rebounder and defender, Carey has always comported himself with a snarl that says he’s not afraid of anyone on the court — or off it.

C — Beau Belga, Rain or Shine: The chairman of Extra Rice, Inc., could probably fit into any team I imagine, just because he brings so many fun elements to the floor. I’m slotting him in with Angas Pilipinas, however, because Belga needs that self-assuredness to step on the hardwood, shorter and rounder than just about everyone he’ll be matched up against, believing that he’s about to give them hell and rattle home a few “Where did that come from?” three-pointers along the way. He also gives Angas Pilipinas the best chance at recreating the glory of Chito Loyzaga’s performance in the 1990 Asian Games, where the 6-foot-1, roly-poly “big” man guarded North Korea’s 7-foot-9 Ri Myung-Hun. Time to belly up.

Sixth Man (in 3 Words): Alex Crisano, currently unsigned: Where Brooklyn At?

Naturalized Player (in 3 Words) Vernon Macklin: DUNKS DUNKS DUNKS

by Rafe Bartholomew

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