ALLAN THE MAN

If you live under a rock, then you have mightily missed University of the East’s record-breaking fifth straight complaint to the UAAP Board, Technical Committee or whatever kennel of dogs run the blasted University Athletic Association of Protests.

Well, sarcasm aside, after earning a straight flush of suspensions on Charles Mammie, Lord Casajeros and recently, MOA jumbotron poster boy suspended attendee Ralf Olivares, UE has decided to take their battles to another level: inside the boardroom! 

Walk with me down memory lane. These boardroom battles started before Greg Slaughter ever donned an Ateneo jersey, which was also put under protest by UE’s neighbors, Far Eastern illogical thinking-I mean-University.

But before that, the Tamaraws from Morayta made up a bogus and candy-taken-from-a-child rule named the Soc Rivera rule. And then everything was quiet through Season 74, apart from the Greg Slaughter issues, until NU hosted last season. Here’s when it got really bad. 

The Precedent, if I may call it. The hosts put a game under protest. And you know what? Then commissioner Ato Badolato put down the protests for a remake. But the Board of course have other things in mind, why they overturned the commissioner’s decision! Just like that, the NU-FEU game was replayed. Badolato quit his post in the process as well. I mean, who wouldn’t? You're the commissioner, not a puppy, or a puppet. You are supposed to have the final say. Not the Board, not the TechCom. And then there’s the Jerie Pingoy Rule, which we all love to hate (which recently got TRO-ed by a UP complainant, rightfully so, and cheers to her!).

And now, we have a toothless commissioner for the UAAP. Let’s be serious. This “Kume” Chito does not wield the same powers that the other “Kume” Chito has. Much less, the balls to even make his post relevant. The way I see it, he’s been a yes-man for this board of German shepherds. Imagine that!

Now, let’s move on to the star of the show, the diva, the protester extraordinaire, UE. What they want is a clarification of the rule since as we all know Ateneo’s head coach, Bo Perasol, was suspended for their game. But lo and behold! He was watching from the dugout inside the MOA Arena. So UE’s butts started to quiver as they penned a protest using their collective quivering butts to write letters. They immediately put it under protest and wanted a forfeiture of the won game by the Blue Eagles. Reason being, a team personnel who got suspended should not be in the immediate vicinity of the playing court, well if I remember their haosiao fool-este-rule book right. Okay, fair point I guess.

But the hilarity of it all, UE, of all the schools, had then suspended Ralf Olivares beamed over the MOA jumbotron. Near the bench. In the immediate vicinity of the playing court. I do not know how these people who run the Red Warriors define immediate vicinity. But in Filipino: malamang yung hindi malapit sa bench at nakikita ka ng tao, hindi ba? Ano ba ang diperensiya ng personnel sa player? Well, for one, there’s none seeing as you are a member of the team, in whatsoever capacity, you are its personnel. You don’t say to the janitor or the security guard that you are not a staff of this school only a janitor and a guard, right?

But that doesn’t end there. Several more suspended personnel – oh fine, players! – showed up in their team’s games wherein they were not allowed to play. Thomas Torres of La Salle was there during his suspension. RR Garcia was present near the FEU bench when they faced UE and was beamed, like Olivares, on the jumbotron. Then, foolery of fooleries, UE’s Mammie and Casajeros were nearby the UE bench when they faced National University. That’s what Ateneo is pointing right now.

And that’s a fair point as well. Let’s hand it to the Jesuits’ command of the English language, not that I am belittling those of the others, for wanting to point out the dictionary meaning of stuff like, immediate vicinity, and personnel. What do they really mean in the UAAP fool book?

It means nothing by the way. As long as the Board has the Kume toothless, then we are watching not the the University Athletic Association of the Philippines, ladies and gents. We are in fool, este full, view of the University Ayaw Awat sa Protesta Red Warriors.

While the UE Protestants do have a strong point, so does Iglesia ng Ateneo. To make matters worse, UE is on a downside here, in my view, as Olivares, Mammie and Casajeros were pretty much in the IMMEDIATE VICINITY of the bench. Perasol? He was in the dugout. And the UP Alum is not stupid enough to go barnstorming inside a forbidden place. He asked for permission and it was said he could watch from afar. That’s what he did. Now whether he coached in the halftime or not, it can’t be proved nor disproved. In a way, this is taking credit away from Arespacochaga, the longtime student of Norman Black, for a massive turnaround after the first half.

Ateneo, by itself, does not want to involve in further politics. They want to win fair and square, in the basketball court, not the boardroom. For Ateneo to speak up and start flexing those muscles? Boy, someone must’ve roused a sleeping legal giant. I pity UE now, as much as I hate them. I know hate is a strong word. But they are being more degenerate people than that La Salle heckler. Heck, they are now as deep in crap as FEU in my CrapOlympics.

Come to think of it, if UE won that game, I’m pretty sure there would be no protest. Ateneo would not even bat an eyelash for seeing Olivares on the jumbotron. They want it decided on the basketball court. By basketball players. Not some overweight, head-over-heels fatties who call themselves board members.

I think we haven’t seen the last of this degenerate University Ayaw Awat sa Protesta Red Warriors either. They should change the tagline of this season as well. It’s no longer greatness never ends.

#DramaNeverEnds. That’s how it should be.

written by Pio Garcia. (philstar.com)

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